I woke up just as the jet landed, but I pretended like I was still asleep for the simple fact that I was being lazy and didn’t feel like walking. I knew if I was still asleep then Chris would carry me. Everyone was taking their time getting off and I eventually found myself dozing back off. When I woke up again I noticed I was still on the jet. I sat up and looked around, we were back in the air. I looked next to me and seen Chris sprawled out with a towel over his face and headphones over his ears. I got up and straddled his lap. His hands immediately grabbed onto my waist, telling me he was wide awake. I pulled the towel off his face and stared down at him with a questioning look. He smirked and pulled his headphones off.
“Where are we going Chris?”
“What’s in Vegas?”
“A chapel…” My eyes widened and I quickly jumped off of him.
“Chris we talked about this.”
“I know, and you said you would marry me. If you were serious about that then you would marry me now. If you don’t want to get married then just say it. I don’t want us to be wasting time in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.” I bit the inside of my cheek as I began pacing. The question isn’t if I wanted to marry him, it was if he wanted to marry me.
“Chris… there’s shit you don’t know about me. Important shit.”
“Important shit like what?” I stopped pacing and turned to face him. He was now sitting up and staring at me with a hard look. I sighed and sat down on the couch across from him.
“The fact that I’m unable to have any children.”
“What? Where you get that thought from?”
“My doctor. The first time we had sex I went and had a checkup. I wanted them to make sure I wasn’t pregnant or anything. My doctor told me that because of my past sexual history I am unable to conceive. I try and act like it’s not real so I don’t have to go around explaining shit, but you have to know the truth before you decide you want to commit to me for the rest of our lives.”
“Your past sexual history?”
“Think about it Chris.” His face twisted in confusion as he began searching for answers. I rolled my eyes as I waited for it to click in his mind. A few moments later it did and his entire expression changed.
“I’ll kill that nigga.” He stood up and started pacing as he yelled out random threats and obscenities. I got back into the bed and pulled the blanket over me. I am certain he doesn’t want to marry me now. Why would he, I can’t even give him any children of his own.
That shit really hurt me when I first found out. I never planned on giving birth to a lot of kids, just one. My goal was and has always been to adopt all of my kids, but it was different knowing that I couldn’t have any even if I wanted to. I sighed and reached up to wipe the fallen tears out of my eyes. Everyone around me is having babies, yet it isn’t even an option for me. Chris suddenly stopped his ranting and climbed back into the bed, wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest and let everything out.
“It’s okay baby, we can still adopt.” I moved my head and looked up at him.
“You don’t have to do this with me. You can go find any other woman to settle down with. Someone who can give you a real family. Think about your long term options.”
“There is no thinking, I don’t see any future without you in it. You do provide me with a family, a real one. Me, you, Charlie and whoever else we add to our family is as real as it gets. I love you Sky, and we’re hours away from getting married. I want to marry you, nothing will change that. Just let me know if you’re still down, because I am.” I smiled and wiped the tears out of my eyes.
“Of course I’m still down. I’ll always be down.” He smiled and kissed my lips.
“That’s what I like to hear.” I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest. I’m more excited now then I had ever been in my entire life. I’m anxious to marry the man I love who accepts all of me. He doesn’t expect anything that I’m not offering, and the same goes for me. I love that, I love us, and I love him.
“Remember when I was talking to you about adopting a child? I meant as soon as possible. One of the members at the studio, her daughter is eight months pregnant, and they don’t want the baby. Her daughter is leaving to college in a few months, and I talked to her about it. She’s having a boy. If you’re still on board with it then we can get in contact with her whenever we get back.”
“Hell yeah. We need a boy, Charlie starting to get out of hand.” He spoke with a goofy smirk on his face.
“Don’t come for my child.”
“She told me when she turned sixteen she was getting married to Roc Royal, the little nigga in Mindless Behavior. Does she know I will kill them little niggas. She ain’t marrying no fucking body at no damn sixteen years old.”
“Calm down baby.” I said through my laughter. He is too extra, and for no reason. “Do you know by the time she turns sixteen she will not be concerned with them at all. Look at me, I used to want to marry-” Wait, when I was younger I wanted to marry Bow, one of his friends. Damn, time to divert this else where. “I wanted to marry plenty of people who no longer even hold my interest now. It’s a girl thing.”
“Exactly why we need another boy around. I will never understand you females.”
“Shut up. I seen the way you act with Junior, you will not be doing that with our son.”
“Why I won’t? You leave this man shit to me. Your rules only apply to the females of the house.” I rolled my eyes and sat up.
“Speaking of the house, we need to go house shopping. Yours is way too big, and my condo is too small. Plus I promised Austin that when I moved out he could have my condo.”
“Fine. I’ll call my realtor.”
“No, my mama can do it. She’s a good realtor.” He nodded and glanced out the window.
“We’re almost here. You ready?”
“Yes. Can I get a dress and shit?”
“Yeah. It’s a few for you at the hotel to choose from. I told you I have everything planned out. Let me just warn you now, they aren’t traditional wedding dresses since you know that this isn’t a traditional wedding. But I still got that part handled.”
“How convenient of you.”
“I’m Breezy bitch.”
“Don’t get your ass beat.” He smirked and pulled out my phone. “What are you doing?”
“Hacking your shit. Chill girl.” I smiled and leaned back, watching what he was doing.
“I love you.” I mumbled. He looked up at me and smiled before adjusting himself to where his head was now lying in my lap.
“I love you too baby.”I smiled and leaned down to give him a kiss. I only pray that I made the right decision this time around, and I hope he won’t regret his decision to stay with me. I know we’re only going to get stronger from here on out. My mind immediately flashed to Charlie. My baby girl is the reason for all of this. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t even know Chris. My baby girl has been bringing joy and love to my life since the day I laid eyes on her. Everything used to be so complicated, but I will never regret the decision I made to keep my biggest blessing, my first love, Charlotte Joyce Brown.
Go read the sequel: 2realfanfic
I got home and was immediately irritated by the amount of people in my house. This is why I hate sharing a fucking house with Zarah. Best friend or not, the bitch is lazy as fuck, and I am convinced that she is only around to ride my dick. There is only so long I am going to allow that to happen though. I walked into my room, closing and locking the door and went to sit at my desk. I powered up my laptop before grabbing my phone and calling Chris. The phone rang for forever before he finally decided to pick up.
“Fuck you want Tay?”
“Set up your Skype so I can talk to Charlie.”
“Fuck no. You can’t just call and randomly want to talk to a child you haven’t seen in over a year.”
“Well looks like I’m doing it now, doesn’t it? Just ask her if she wants to talk to me. It’s not even your damn decision.”
“It actually is. I’m the one with the custody, therefore I make the decisions for my six year old daughter.”
“You really don’t. Everyone knows who makes the decisions when it comes to Charlie, and it definitely is not you. Now run along and go ask her. I do not have time for your bullshit.”
“Man Taylor I swear-“
“I wanna talk to Ms. Taylor, Daddy!” I heard Charlie yell in the background, cutting him off. I smirked and signed into my Skype.
“The child has spoken. Now accept my request bitch.” I ended the call and waited for the shit to connect. It did after a couple minutes and I was met with Charlie eating some grapes. “What’s up girl?” She smiled and waved at the screen.
“How you doing Ms. Taylor?” She mumbled with a mouthful of chewed up grapes. I scrunched up my face and she started laughing.
“Swallow that first, and you don’t have to call me Ms. Taylor, you can just call me Taylor.” I didn’t want shit to be formal and I also didn’t want her feeling awkward by having to call two bitches mom. Since I don’t take motherly duties over her, then I was fine with her calling me Taylor. No big deal. A few seconds later she opened her mouth to show me that she had swallowed it. I smiled and gave her a thumbs up.
“Where you been at?” She asked, her expression turning serious.
“I’ve been living life to the fullest. You will experience this once you’ve hit about seventeen or eighteen, just don’t get pregnant. Oh, and I talked to your grandma earlier. She gave me a picture of you.”
“You gonna hang it up?”
“Yup. Right here in my room.”
“Ms. Taylor, are you a nice person now? I didn’t use to like you.” I raised an eyebrow as I contemplated on how to answer the question. I didn’t even really know how to answer this question.
“No, not really. I think I’m still mean, but I’m only going to be nice to you because you deserve it. I didn’t really care much for you back in the day which is fucked up, but I’ve had a slight warming in my heart for you. How does that sound?”
“You gonna be nice to daddy too?”
“No, I hate him.”
“Yeah, Daddy be mean sometimes too.” I laughed and kicked off my shoes, getting more comfortable in my chair. “What about Mommy?” I bit my lip and glanced up at the ceiling.
“You know what, I no longer have an issue with her.”
“Me neither.” She said before popping another grape into her mouth. I laughed and picked my laptop up, moving over to my bed.
“You’re in elementary school now huh?”
“Yup. First grade.”
“How’s that working out for you?”
“It’s okay. They didn’t give me class with Rickey.”
“Who is Rickey again?” The name sounded familiar, but it wasn’t ringing any bells. Charlie sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. Yes, this is definitely my child.
“Rickey Uncle Mijo son. You can’t forget him.”
“Fine, I won’t. He your best friend or somehing?”
“Yeah, him and Tiffany. JoJo say I like him, but I don’t. He’s my cousin, so that’s nasty.”
“Who the hell is JoJo?”
“A girl at school. I hate her.”
“You better tell that little bitch to stay out your business.”
“You not supposed to say bad words Ms. Taylor.” I smirked as I heard Chris say something in the background. Of course his nosey ass would be listening to our conversation. Knowing this had nothing to do with him.
“My bad. I get carried away, but if you don’t like her then I don’t like her either. We’ll share enemies.”
“Except Daddy. I don’t hate Daddy.”
“Fine. He shall be an exception. I’ll hate him and you wont. He’ll get the best of both worlds.”
“Deal.” I laughed and ran my hand through my hair.
“You’re starting to look just like me. We can pass for twins now.”
“Yeah. Daddy say I don’t look like him no more. Then my eyes change colors like if I’m happy or sad or mad and in the sun. You see?” She put her face up to the screen and I started laughing. I never realized how funny this little girl actually is. I’m going to have to hang around her more often.
I snuck up behind Chris and threw my arms around his neck, planting a million and one kisses onto his face and neck.
“Be cool Sky.” I stopped and pulled away from him.
“What’s wrong with you?” He motioned ahead of him and I looked up to see Charlie talking to someone on the computer. “Who is she talking too?”
“Taylor.” I watched the smile on Charlie’s face get bigger as she responded to something Taylor had said.
“Relax. Charlie is obviously enjoying herself.” I love the fact that Charlie is actually having a conversation with Taylor, a good one at that. I knew it killed her at the fact that she knew who her birth mother was, but also knew that she didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Me personally, I didn’t really have any feelings for Taylor, but it had been over a year since our little confrontation and I preferred that she be in her daughter’s life. We both know she could never be me, but that didn’t stop her from having a relationship with Charlie.
“Fuck that, I don’t trust her.”
“Whatever. Have fun lurking.” I kissed his cheek once more and walked off. I didn’t have time for him and his feelings. I wanted to stay in my good ass mood. I walked into the kitchen and pulled me out something to snack on. I grabbed a yogurt and made my way outside. I kicked off my shoes and socks, letting my feet sink into the sand as I took in my surroundings. I heard a noise behind me and turned to see Junior making his way outside. I smirked and walked over to pick him up.
“What do you think you’re doing? Sneaking out the house and all.” I kissed his cheek and started walking down towards the shore. He wrapped his arms around my neck, securing himself so he wouldn’t fall. He kissed my cheek and I smiled, turning to him to make a goofy face. I wanted another child so badly that it wasn’t even funny, but I was on a sex fast. Therefore the twins were the closest I was going to get to another baby.
I stopped walking once the water was hitting my ankles and pulled out my phone. I took a couple of pictures of me and Junior and a couple of our beautiful surroundings before putting it on Instagram.
“What should our caption be?” I looked at Junior and he shrugged. I smiled and typed something real random. Kidnapped Tyga’s son, my baby boy. I looked back at the water and just felt like diving in, but there is a one year old on my hip, so I decided to be careful and take it slow.
I tossed my phone into the sand and started slowly walking in. The water was up to my hip when Junior started trying to reach out and touch it. “It’s cold baby. You sure you want to get in?” The water wasn’t really cold, but I knew it would be to him. He frowned and kept reaching. I laughed and held him out, slowly dipping his feet into the water. That drove him wild. He immediately started kicking, splashing water everywhere. We were in the water for a good twenty minutes before I started getting a weird feeling in my stomach.
“Back inside we go.” I put junior back on my hip and made my way out the water. I grabbed my phone out the sand and jogged back to the house. I handed Junior off to the first person I seen, which happened to be Chris, before running off to the bathroom. I leaned over and puked up everything in me.
“You okay?” I glanced up at Chris and nodded before getting the rest of the dry heaves out of my system. I flushed the toiled and walked over to the sink. I washed out my mouth then brushed my teeth. “You pregnant?”
“No Chris. I am definitely not pregnant. It was probably just something I ate.” I looked back over at him and frowned. “Where’s Junior?”
“Gave him to Rae so she can change him and shit.” I pulled myself onto the sink and stared at him. “Why you looking at me like that?”
“I was thinking about adopting another child… with you. Well if you’re interested in that.” He walked in, closing the bathroom door behind him and over to me, pushing himself in between my legs.
“I can work with two more kids.” He said while nodding his head at my idea.
“Two? We’re just adopting one.”
“I know, then you have to count the one in your stomach.” I rolled my eyes, but his ass was really serious about it. “Christopher, I am not pregnant.”
“When’s the last time you’ve had your period?”
“I don’t know. I’m on the shot. I only have a period every three months.” He groaned and laid his head on my chest.
“You are so fucking complicated.” I smiled and ran my hand through his hair.
“You need a hair cut babe.” He looked up and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “Where is Charlie? Is she sleep?” He nodded and laid his head back onto my chest. I picked up my phone and snapped a picture of us.
“Instagram, my girl’s best friend.” He sung out. I laughed and smacked his shoulder.
“Shut up.” I uploaded the picture with a simple caption: Just can’t leave him alone.
“I love you Sky, and our future children.” I rolled my eyes and kissed his forehead.
“I love you too Chris. With your immature ass.”
“You’re one to talk.”
“You’re right. We’ll both be immature. An immature ass couple adopting babies. Someone alert the damn FEDS.”
“Listen to yourself! Ain’t shit ass.” I laughed and pushed him away from me before sliding off of the sink.
“Come on. Let’s go to bed. You’ve had enough activity for the day.” I grabbed his hand and led him into our bedroom. I looked around and frowned when I didn’t see Charlie. “Where is my child Chris?”
“In the room with the twins. It’s an extra bed in there for her. Now change out these wet clothes and get ya ass in the bed.”
“So aggressive, I love it.”
“You sound like you want some dick.”
“I really don’t. I told you we were taking a break from sex.” He huffed and stripped out of his clothes. “Don’t do that. Bring this adopting babies excitement back.” He smiled and put a pillow over his face. The fact that I could bring a smile like that to his face made me happy. Happy to make him happy.
“You getting in the bed baby?”
“Yes, I’m going to take a quick shower first. That water got me feeling grimey.”
“Hurry up blood.”
“Don’t rush me. You can take your ass to sleep.” I grabbed some pajamas and walked into our private bathroom. I jumped into the shower and did a quick wash up then got dressed, making my way back into the room. Chris looked like he was already asleep so I cut off the lights and climbed in next to him.
“Sky?” I rolled over, throwing my leg over his.
“What’s up baby?”
“I still want to marry you. All bullshit aside, you’re perfect for me in my eyes. As long as we continue to keep our common ground then there wont be anymore blowups. We just have to be willing to make it happen and work shit out with each other. I might be rambling, but I’m just nervous to ask you again.” I smiled and kissed his jaw.
“Now this is the best proposal ever.”
“Better then the five other times you were engaged?” He joked.
“Shut up. I hope you still have that ring while you proposing and shit. This can just be you pillow talking as usual.”
“That’s how you feel?” I nodded and his ass broke out in dramatic ass dance. He’s so damn extra, and I love every part of him.
“Chris! Just get my ring.”
“No. I don’t like the way you’re talking to me.” I smiled and crossed my arms. “Oh you got an attitude now huh?”
“Fuck the ring then.” He rolled over and grabbed something out of his nightstand drawer then came back with my ring. I smiled and held out my hand. He slid the ring on and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back into him.
“No fuck ups this time Skylar.” I smiled and gave him a kiss.
“Explain to me why you felt the need to rent out an entire island. My sister is real pressed about that. Is privacy really that serious?” We were sitting out on the balcony talking. So far so good. We weren’t arguing yet, so that always means shit is good.
“I didn’t do all of this for myself. This is where we were supposed to get married at. Just a small ceremony with you, Charlie and I. Nothing too big then afterwards everyone else would be here.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
“Because I wanted it to be a surprise, but it’s all ruined now. I’ve been planning this for a while now. It was part of my plan to get you back and secure it. Make sure we stayed together this time. Nothing I do works though. I guess I finally realized that you just don’t want me back, and I’m supposed to respect that. I’m supposed to just let you go right? That shit is hard to do. I know I fucked up and I’ve been dealing with that mistake for two years now.”
“You shouldn’t just let me leave all the time either. It makes me think you don’t care enough about our relationship to step out of your feelings for a moment and at least tell me you want me to stay. That day at the house hurt me so much Chris. You completely broke me in that moment. I had complete trust in you, and I waited up for you all night. Call after call was forwarded and text after text was ignored, but not once did I even to stop to think that the reason behind that was because you were cheating on me. My trust was in you and our relationship Chris. You came home that moment and told me that you never stopped loving that woman. It still hurts, because I could have sworn you were in love with me, yet here you were telling me that your heart was still with her. You can’t just change your mind about something you were so positive about. You let me leave and then tried to say you regret it a month or so later? You can’t just take shit like that back.”
“I shouldn’t have let you leave that day. I admit my feelings were mixed up. What happened between her and I confused me. My relationship with her didn’t end on a good note and what I should have been looking for was closure, yet I wanted more than that. I wanted her forgiveness and hearing her say she wanted what we had back made me believe that it was the best way to redeem myself in her eyes. I should have talked to you about it before I made a final decision about it, but I didn’t want to lead you on while I was still so unsure about my feelings in the situation.” Sky gave me a blank look as I finished explaining to her what happened back than, and I leaned over to place a brief kiss on her cheek.
"I just can’t understand it. You didn’t fight for me at all Chris. You never fight for me. I don’t give a fuck what you feel for her when I’m the one you’re with. You don’t owe your ex shit. You owe me a reasonable explaination. You owe me a proper break up and a proper fucking excuse for blowing me. Yet you gave me nothing. You gave me no respect as your girlfriend and the mother of your child. You had me abandon my life to start one with you. I stopped everything and moved in with you and just that easily it was over. You never fight for me, yet you’ll fight to be with her."
“I’ll fight for you baby, and you know I will. Shit is hell when you’re gone. It took me letting you leave to find that out. I last about a couple hours before I start flipping shit.” I admitted.
“You be crying and shit?” She questioned with a small smirk growing on her face.
“Hell naw!” I quickly answered, lying through my teeth. They don’t be sad tears or no shit like that, I just be frustrated.
“Okay sir, whatever you say. Why didn’t you invite Charlie and I on this little vacation? Regardless of the situation, we would have enjoyed being here.”
“It was a last minute thing. I thought the shit was canceled til niggas showed up at my house with bags and shit. Besides your lying ass had plans. You’re supposed to be in Texas for the week and shit.”
“Yeah, this was last minute too.” She lied.
“Bullshit. Don’t get fucked up lying to me and shit. You know I don’t like that, especially when you’re lying about the whereabouts of yourself and my child. That shit is serious Sky.” She rolled her eyes, but I was serious and she needed to know I wasn’t playing with her ass. What if something happened to them while in my head I’m thinking her ass is in Houston. I wasn’t going to make it an issue right now since we are on vacation, but I am in no way forgetting about the shit.
“Mmmhmm. Let me know when you’re ready to talk to Charlie.”
“We can talk to her now. Charlie!” I yelled out. It wasn’t long before I heard her running out to the balcony. I picked her up and put her on my lap.
“Do you like when me and Mommy are together?” I asked, starting the conversation right up. The faster I can get shit straightened out the better. I’m just ready to be back with my family.
“Why only sometimes?”
“Cause I like us as family, but I not like when you argue and make each other sad.”
“Would you rather us be apart?” Sky asked her. I didn’t want that to be an option, but my daughter’s opinion comes first. I’ve been ignoring my baby girl’s feelings for so long just to go after what I felt I wanted at the time. Charlie curled up in my lap and I kissed her forehead.
“No, I want us all together so you guys can have more babies, but you guys have to stay happy.” I smiled and looked over at Sky. She stood up and walked over to sit with us.
“We will be happy baby.” Sky assured her.
“Daddy you promise?”
“Yeah, I promise. I’m going to stop getting mad for unnecessary reasons, and mommy is going to stop leaving and talk things out.” I looked straight into Sky’s eyes as I spoke, making sure she heard every last word that came out of my mouth.
“You promise too Mommy?”
“I promise. Daddy knows I love him no matter how complicated things get.”
“I love mommy too, and we both love you.” Sky smiled and leaned in to kiss Charlie’s cheek. She looked up at me before leaning further over and pressing her lips to my jaw. I turned my head and kissed her forehead.
“It’s just us. Our family.” I put my arm around Sky’s shoulder, pulling her closer to me. She laid her head on my shoulder and Charlie stretched out, getting herself more comfortable. These are my girls, and I need to fight to keep them here just as hard as I fought to get them here. The sun was starting to set, and I knew I wasn’t ready to let them leave back to the main island. Either they were staying here or I was going back with them.
“Daddy they got stars out here?”
“Yeah. They have stars everywhere.”
“Before you come, me and Mommy always look at the stars and we make a wish.”
“Did your wishes ever come true?”
“Yes. They always come true, and when they don’t Mommy just tell me to wish again so I wish harder.”
“What did you wish the hardest for?” I questioned while messing with the ends of her hair.
“I wish for you. At mommy old job the girls not have Daddies either, but I wanted a Daddy to help Mommy cause she didn’t have no one either. It was just us, and I didn’t want it to be just us forever.” I brushed my hand through her hair and kissed her forehead. “You not leave Daddy, okay. You not leave ever.”
“I won’t. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here no matter how bad or how good. No one is going to pull me away from you two.” I promised her, meaning every single word.
“I love you Daddy.”
“I love you too baby girl.”
“I love you Mommy.”
“I love you baby.” Sky gave her a kiss before putting her head back on my shoulder. It was silent for a few minutes before I heard the familiar sound of Charlie’s light snoring.
“Spending the night?” I questioned while glancing down at Sky.
“Might as well. Besides, I’m pretty sure I heard Austin and Juaquin arrive earlier. Where are we sleeping?”
“With me, come on.” I stood up, cradling Charlie to me as I walked back inside and back to my room. I laid Charlie in the middle of my bed and took off her sandals before stripping down to my boxers. I tossed my shirt over to Sky and climbed into the bed. Sky changed into my shirt and got in also.
“Did you mean everything you said outside?”
“Of course I did. I love you, and if I’m holding us back in any way possible then I’m going to work on that and fix it.”
“I love you too, and I’m going to clean up my shit too. I owe it to you and Charlie. We need to make this work because I’ve tried moving on, and the grass isn’t that much greener anywhere else.” She said as a smirk appeared on my face. She osn’t going to find a lawn that was more tailored then mine. Plain and simple. I could have told her that from jump.
“I know it has to be hard looking for another nigga when the best is right here.”
“Says the nigga who left me for a… let me not go there. New beginnings.” I smiled and leaned over, crashing my lips down on hers. She kissed me back, of course, but pushed me away after a moment. “Charlie’s right here, calm all that shit down.”
“Sorry for wanting to give my girl a kiss.” She rolled her eyes and pulled the blanket over herself and Charlie. I followed suit, getting more comfortable.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” That was all I needed to hear to end my night. I closed my eyes and dozed off.
I was up bright and early the next morning, earlier then everyone here, well except Charlie. She is always up when I was up. I’m happy that Chris and I had the opportunity to work shit out. It’s ridiculous how we were acting and all of our arguments were petty as fuck. I’m just glad we were able to get everything out in the open last night. I got out the bed with Charlie hot on my trail and went to walk out the door, but stopped when I seen Charlie and I’s bags sitting there. I grabbed the sloppy hand written note off the top and rolled my eyes.
“Read this Charlie.” I handed her the paper and she scrunched up her face.
“I… bring… yo… stuff… Flocka.” She looked up at me and I smiled.
“Perfect.” I held out my hand and she gave me a high five. “Now lets go find ourselves some food.” She grabbed my hand and we walked into the kitchen. I know they provided food service and shit here, but I wanted to cook something.
“What we cooking Mommy?” Charlie asked while taking out eggs and other small things. She already knew what to get started with.
“Depends. Let me go see who’s all here.” I walked down the hall and started peeking into all the rooms. Mijo and Alisha, Chanel and Rickey, Janessa and Bow, Dijah and Flocka, Tyga and Rae and my babies. I walked into the room and grabbed a wide awake Junior. “Hi baby.” I whispered to him. He started talking, lord knows what his ass was saying, but he is just too cute saying it.
“Sky take him and yourself out of my damn room.” Ty grunted.
“Ew, your Mommy and Daddy are not morning people. Come on baby.” He wrapped his arms around my neck and I planted a couple kisses onto his cheek as I made my way back into the kitchen. I put him in one of the high chairs and handed him my phone to play with. Thirty minutes later everyone was waking up and the food was just about done. Chris came up behind me and kissed the back of my neck before walking over to pick up Ki’anna. Rae walked in and wrapped her arm around my waist. I turned around and wrapped my arms around her.
“I love you Rae bae.” She tightened her hold around me and we slowly began rocking from side to side.
“I love you Sky honey.”
“Y’all ain’t gone kiss though.” Tyga called out, fucking up our peaceful embrace. I kissed her cheek and pulled away from her before cutting my eyes at Tyga. He turned his attention to the kids, acting like nothing happened. I picked up the dish rag and flung it at him.
Kadijah, Rae, Alisha, Janessa, Chanel and I were back on the main island spending some girl time together while the guys stayed back with the kids. We definitely needed a break from the men to relax. Especially since it’s been a minute since it’s been just us girls.
“Is that the best friend over there?” Rae spoke loud enough for only me to hear. Everyone was walking ahead of us, so it wasn’t like they were going to hear us talking anyways. I looked over in the direction she was motioning too and seen Kirk walking down the beach with some girl.
“Kirkland!” I called out. He looked up and a smile immediately appeared on his face. I smiled too and began walking over to him with Rae right at my side. He turned and said something to the girl he was with and she just rolled her eyes before saying something back to him. I rolled my eyes at the interaction and went to give Kirk a hug.
“What you doing here girl?” He asked me.
“We’re on vacation.” He turned to Rae and pulled her into a hug.
“Where the hell them babies at?”
“Kids are on another island with their daddies. When the hell are you having a baby?” I asked in return. Kirk is so good with kids. I don’t know why he hasn’t had a baby yet.
“When Charlie turns twenty one, I will start working on this baby.”
“Sky’s pregnant now.” Rae blurted out. Kirk turned to me and raised his eyebrow.
“Lies! Don’t believe her Kirkland. The only person pregnant right now is my sister.”
“All these hoes pregnant!” Janessa yelled out, causing random people to look our way.
“Watch that shit be all over the internet now. The world already knows me as Chris Brown’s jumpoff. Rumored to be sexually linked to Kirko Bangz, Omarion, Gucci Mane and a few other rappers. The list goes on for fucking days.”
“Calm down Stacy. No one gives a fuck about that shit but you.” I rolled my eyes and pulled out my phone, snapping a quick picture of him, minus his plus one. “Always taking pictures of me and shit.”
“Only because you’re my best friend, and I love you.” I mumbled while posting the picture to instagram. - It’s a very small island. Luvs my bestest.
“I love you too.” He said after reading my caption. I smiled and looked up into his eyes. It was a lovely moment until Ms. Plus One decided to clear her throat, rather loudly I might add. I turned to look at her and she was mugging the fuck out of me. No one has time for her grumpy ass.
“Girls, this is my homie Sielina.” She shot him a look and a smirk appeared on my face. She isn’t even the girlfriend and she is shooting me all these damn looks. Shit is hilarious. I would happily point out a seat for her to take if she keeps it up.
“Well I’m Sky, Kirk’s best friend. This is my backbone Rae, my sister Kadijah, and my girls: Chanel, Janessa, and Alisha. Nice to meet you. I’ve never seen Kirkland with an actual girlfriend before.” I said, throwing in the girlfriend word on purpose.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Well you need to hurry up and get a girlfriend, because the bigger you get the harder it will be for you to find a down ass bitch. Hoes are just out for your sperms and your money. In that order.” He started laughing and wrapped his arms around me.
“I miss your ass. We need to hang out before we leave this island, and I need to see them kids.”
“Tomorrow shall be the day. Bookmark it and we shall see you then.” I said before reaching up and kissing his cheek. We said our goodbye’s and all before parting ways. It is always nice seeing him.
I took a deep breath before knocking on Ms. Joyce’s door. She opened the door and smiled wide before telling me to come in. A smile is definitely not what I was expecting from her, but it sure did make me feel welcome. Though Ms. Joyce has never made me feel not welcomed.
“Let me know what’s up with you baby. Things haven’t been normal with you in a while.”
“Things are normal. I’ve just been focused on my career. You know I don’t have many people in my corner. Everything I want and need, I have to go and get it myself. I can’t depend on anyone else.”
“What about your little girl? When is the last time you’ve seen her?”
“I don’t know… I guess at that dinner. You have to see it from my point of view Ms. Joyce. Chris and I made the decision to give her up for adoption and he went behind my back to find her. I was going to look like the bad person regardless, so why not live up to the title.”
“No child. That is the wrong way to go about things.”
“So I’m the only one that’s wrong?”
“I’m not saying that. Christopher is just as wrong as you are, but regardless of who’s wrong it’s not going to make your little girl disappear. You need to get into her life before she grows up and despises the ground you walk on. It’s been over a year since you’ve seen her. She is old enough as it is to think for herself, and at the moment she is afraid of you.”
“That’s the problem. I messed things up too much with her. She doesn’t need a person like me for a mother. I wouldn’t want me for a mother either. I’m a fucked up individual.” I’m ashamed of the way I turned out as a person, but then again I’m not. I am whom I wanted to be. I set my own path, and I’m proud of that. The only thing I regret is neglecting a child that I brought into this world.
“Don’t talk about yourself like that. You are a beautiful person. You just need to start showing the real you.”
“Everyone doesn’t deserve to see the real Taylor.”
“Your daughter does. Let me show you something.” She got up and walked out the room, coming back shortly with a picture frame. She handed it to me and I looked down at it. It was as if I was staring at a younger picture of myself. “No matter who she calls mom, she will always be your daughter. Don’t let the small things get to you.” I sighed and continued to stare down at the picture. So much had changed about her over the year. She no longer looked deadass like Chris. She is looking like me, finally. The blonde in her hair is starting to come out, the blue in her eyes is now showing more prominently. Her nose, lips, everything. It’s crazy seeing another person who looked just like me.
“Do you have anymore of these pictures?”
“Yes, you can take that one with you, and I’m going to arrange for you two to spend the day together.”
“If it’s anything I know about Charlie it’s that she hates being around people she doesn’t like.” I let out a small chuckle, with no humor as I continued to stare down at the picture. “She doesn’t even know who I am really. I’ve never spent longer than two hours with her.”
“You can start off slow. Do a video chat or something. She loves those, and if she’s comfortable in her own environment then I know she won’t have a problem with talking to you.” I sighed, knowing I am going to have to go through Chris for this. I honestly couldn’t stand his snake ass, but Ms. Joyce is right, I need to make shit right with my daughter. I have no problem with everyone else hating me as long as she doesn’t. She looks just like me, I don’t need her acting like me too. Well not completely like me.
“I shall go home and get on it.”
“Oh, and before you leave. I made you something.” I smiled, already knowing it was some food. Ms. Joyce’s food is the only food I will eat with no care in the world about calories and carbs. She came back and handed me the small container of brownies. I smiled and gave her a hug.
“Thanks Ms. Joyce. I love you for still believing in me.”
“You know I love you too child. I just want to see you do right by that little girl.”
“I know, and I will.” I planned on it too. Shit, I am at a point in my life where I could actually have a functioning relationship with my child, and I am not going to fuck it up. Regardless of who gets in my way. Like Ms. Joyce said, she’s my daughter. No one is going to keep me away from her. I am going to go harder than I did the first time, but this time it would be for the right reason.
I walked out of my hotel room feeling like everything under the sun. We had got in late last night, and I woke up feeling brand fucking new. I straightened my hair, threw on a cute outfit, and was ready to go and explore with my loved ones.
“You ready Charlie?”
“Yes!” I smiled as we ran down the hall, banging on everyone’s doors.
“Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!” Charlie yelled out. I laughed and turned around, running back down the hall, repeating the same motion. Kadijah’s door was the first to come swinging open.
“Babe, her ass done found a flat iron and don’t know how to act.” I stopped running and turned around to look at my sister.
“Shut up! You need to invest in a flat iron.”
“No thanks sis. I’m cool with my curls.” She shook her head like she had some dreads and I fell out.
“Flocka come get your wife!”
“I am not married to that girl! You handle her!” Kadijah grinned and I rolled my eyes at her.
“Are you guys ready or what? Me and my baby trying to go explore.” I turned to look for Charlie and seen her struggling to fix her sandals. I walked over to her and bent down, fixing them for her.
“Thank you Mommy.”
“No problem baby. Where’s Austin?”
“Right here.” I stood up and looked him over.
“You look quite dapper there young buck.”
“That’s my que to leave. Flocka we out. Have fun with her Charlie.” Austin called out. He is so embarrassed of me, but always wants to be where I’m at. Shit is actually a bit entertaining. I couldn’t wait for Charlie to get older, but I knew she would never be embarrassed of me. Now if I was to ever have a son, that will be a different story. Juaquin walked out the room fully dressed and smacked Kadijah’s ass before walking off with Austin.
“You guys are so cute. I miss having that.” I commented as I reminisced on my relationship with Chris, the only actual relationship that I’ve ever been in. It’s clear I will never get that back with him, but I seriously doubt I will find something even close to what we had anytime soon.
“Babe, find my sister a man while y’all out! She sounds so depressing!” Kadijah called out after the guys. Flocka turned around and threw his dreads back. I rolled my eyes at the sight. He always turns the simplest of movements to something ratchet.
“Me and Austin gone find you a real nigga that’s about that life.” Austin laughed and nodded his head in agreement.
“Oh Lord. Good luck with that.” I turned back to Kadijah and cut my eyes at her. She of course just laughed it off.
“I guess it’s just us girls. Let’s roll out.” I said as I grabbed Charlie’s hand. Kadijah grabbed her other hand and we were on our way. No destination in particular, just to go enjoy the outside.
“I’m hungry, can we eat brunch before we start this day off?” Kadijah spoke while rubbing her stomach with her free hand.
“Ugh, you’re always hungry bruh.”
“I might be pregnant.” I eyed her out the corner of my eye as we rode the elevator down.
“You trying to have a baby Dij?”
“Sorta.” I smiled and looked down at Charlie.
“What do you think of Auntie Dijah having a baby Charlie?” She turned around and looked between me and Kadijah.
“How many babies you have?”
“Just one. I only need one, and a boy at that. No more of you running around.” Charlie crossed her arms and huffed. I laughed and pulled her into me.
“I’m a good child.”
“You are baby. Auntie Dijah is just mean. Forget her, you have other Aunties.”
“Not like Dij. I’m one of kind. Don’t listen to your mom.” I rolled my eyes as the elevator stopped and we walked off and into the dining hall. I grabbed Charlie’s hand and looked around for a table, quickly spotting the guys at one.
“They thought they were escaping us.” I said as we made our way over to their table and pulled up a couple chairs.
“Y’all could have invited us to breakfast rudeness.” I leaned back in my chair and picked up a menu.
“You have any food in mind Charlie?”
“I want french toast and sausage and potatoes.” I nodded and skimmed through the menu. A waiter came over and I let Charlie order her food before ordering myself an omelet and some orange juice.
A couple hours have passed which resulted in Kadijah, Charlie and I on a boat taking a private tour of the entire island. Let me just say that this tour is boring as fuck. But Kadijah’s sarcastic comments and Charlie’s randomness is definitely making it all worth it.
“And over to your right is Turtle Island.”
“We go there!” Charlie stated excitedly to the tour director.
“It is actually blocked off for the week. Some celebrity reserved it.”
“Since when was we allowed to rent entire islands and shit. This was not mentioned in our package offers. I don’t like sharing islands either.”
“Dijah shut up. Can’t we just roll by the shore or whatever, my daughter wants to take some pictures.” I said as I leaned even further back. I was just enjoying being surrounded in water.
“Rude. You sure you aren’t the pregnant one?” Kadijah joked.
“I’m positive. Birth control is my bestest friend.”
“You have baby soon mommy.” I lifted my sunglasses and raised an eyebrow at Charlie.
“Why do you want me to have a baby so bad?”
“Because if I have a baby with me I not be alone anymore.” I immediately felt bad at that moment. Once again I wasn’t paying attention to my baby’s feelings. I had been where she is now as the only child. I had no siblings at all growing up and that shit was far past depressing. It was one of the reasons why I gave into the shit Derrick was doing to me, because I didn’t want to lose the first family who took me in. Now here my daughter is living between homes, without any real steady friends and no siblings. Only thing is I’m afraid to adopt again. I have a bad feeling that the birth parents would be waiting around the corner to just snatch the baby back from me and I won’t be so lucky to have a relationship with them like the one I had with Chris. Even when I had no custody he still let me see and be around her. I will forever love him for that.
“I’ll have a baby soon.” She brightened up and came over to sit on my lap. She leaned back into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her forehead.
“Who you getting pregnant by?” Leave it to Kadijah.
“I don’t know, I might just go to a sperm bank or something.”
“What if your baby comes out with this stranger’s genes and they ugly. Then what you going to do?”
“I can’t have a ugly child. I’m too pretty for all that, and if you go to one of the good places you can see pictures of the guy and whatever.”
“You can have a baby with Daddy, he right there.” I looked over to where Charlie was pointing and pulled out my camera. I pointed it towards the island and zoomed in. Sure enough, there was Chris. Charlie will recognize him from a map. She knows her Daddy when she sees him.
“He would be the one to rent the gotdamn island. I should have known. Excuse me sir, can you drop us off at Frog Island.”
“It’s Turtle Island Dij.” She rolled her eyes at me and I smirked.
“Well whatever the fuck it’s called, drop us off. We know him.” The tour guide gave us a weary look before heading towards the island. Charlie stood up and started waving.
“Hi Daddy!” I put my hands to my forehead to sheild the sun and smiled when I seen Charlie waving at me from a boat. I glanced at the other people on the boat, making out Kadijah and what I assumed was Sky. It didn’t look like her, but I know it had to be. I had went on this vacation to get away from everything, but I haven’t been able to get my daughter or Sky out of my head since I got here. Their boat pulled up to the shore and I walked over to it, taking Charlie into my arms.
“I missed you baby girl!” I yelled into her ear before planting kisses all over her face.
“Daddy, okay! I miss you too!” She pulled away from me and I laughed before turning my attention to Sky. Watching her and Kadijah struggle to get out of the boat without touching the water.
“Mommy wants to have baby.” Charlie whispered in my ear.
“She not know. I tell her you give her a baby.”
“She knows I will, she’s just mad at me right now.” I walked over and gave Kadijah a quick hug then sat Charlie down.
“Take her inside for me please. Everyone else should be in there.” Kadijah nodded and grabbed Charlie’s hand. As soon as they made it inside I turned to face Sky. I walked over to her and could already see the stank look on her face that was being covered up by her sunglasses.
“I’m sorry.” I said referring to all of the stress I’ve caused her since Vegas. She folded her arms and stayed silent. “Your weave looks sexy.” I added in, taking note of the long straight hair she had, a big difference from her usual curly hair. She smirked and turned her head away from me.
“I can’t stand you Christopher.” I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into my chest.
“I love you Skylar. You know I do. I’m sorry for talking all of that shit over the phone. It was unnecessary. I just want my fucking family back together, and it kills me to not have you around all the time with me and Charlie.”
“I don’t have time to be dealing with you and your monthly cycle Chris. One minute you want me back and the next I’m all types of hoes and bitches to you.”
“I know and I’m sorry about that. Look, we’ll work it out. I just get mad and say stupid shit when you brush me off. I’ve never had to work this hard to get someone back.”
“I’ll think about it.” She said, bringing an instant smile to my face.
“That’s all I ask. Now when did you get this weave done, I’m feeling it.”
“It’s not a fucking weave! I just straightened my hair.”
“Since when has your hair been this long?”
“Since when have you had your nose pierced?” She countered back to ignore my question.
“You don’t like it?”
“No. Who told you it would look good, Mijo? No one has time for that.”
“Fuck you. This new weave you got making your ass mean.” She fell out laughing and I smiled at her. As long as she has a smile on her face then I’m satisfied.
“Run your hand through my hair. There are no tracks in it at all.” I ran my hand through her hair, stopping when I got to the middle of her head. I balled her hair into my fist and pulled it back so she was staring up at me. “Don’t be an asshole Chris.”
“You like it like this though.”
“Can we talk about Charlie? Because no one is concerned with having sex with you right now, especially not me.” I let her hair go and grabbed her hand.
“Baby get off of me and answer your phone.” I groaned and grabbed my phone. I looked at the caller ID and shook my head. Deja’s mom was calling me once again. I didn’t want to answer her, but I wanted her ass to stop calling me. I slid my thumb across the screen and put the phone up to my ear.
“This is all your fault!” I glanced over at Rae before getting up and walking outside.
“Mrs. Kimmons, calm down. What happened?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know. My daughter tried to kill herself because of you! My daughter done lost her damn mind because of you. Do you care? No you don’t. My child will most likely be in an institution for the rest of her life and it’s all your fault!”
“How is this my fault. I haven’t seen or talked to your daughter in close to two years now. I am not liable for anything she does. She is a grown woman, and she is responsible for her actions. I’ve moved on, I have a family now, and she needs to do the same.” I went to hang up when her voice stopped me.
“Wait! Can you just please at least come visit her once? You’re all she talks about, just at least give her some closure.”
“I’ll see.” With that I hung up and walked back inside.
“Who was it?”
“No one you need to be worried about. You still trying to massage daddy?”
“No, but I can use one.”
“I’ll call someone for you.”
“Baby no! I want you to do it.” I smiled and got back in the bed.
“Later, but for now it’s nap time.” I pulled her into my arms and got comfortable. This is the only woman I need to be worried with at the moment. We are on vacation and I don’t need to be concerned with anything that Deja is going through.
“Tae baby get the phone!” I hope she heard me, because I am not in the mood to get out of the bed. Today is just one of those days. Everything is going wrong, so I felt like if I spent the rest of the day in the bed then shit would go smooth. Wrong. Tae walked into the room with a concerned look on her face.
“It’s the hospital.” She handed me the phone and I slowly put it up to my ear. Maybe they were calling to tell me I had breast cancer or something. I am prepared to hear the worst with the shitty day that I’m having.
“Hello, this is Shawna.”
“Ms. Stevenson, we regret to inform you that your father passed away this morning.” I was expecting to hear the worst, but I wasn’t prepared for this shit. Not in the least. Hearing this made my entire world collapse and the tears had already let themselves free.
“I thought you guys said he was doing better.”
“He was, but then he stopped taking his medication.”
“Why would he do that when he was getting better!” I screamed into the phone, not understanding a word that was being said to me.
“It happens frequently with patients who have been fighting this disease for so long, at a point they just give up. If you can come down to the hospital before the end of the week to gather his belongings and make burial arrangements.”
“Okay.” I ended the call and sunk back into the bed, pulling the blanket over my head.
“Baby what happened?”
“Leave me alone please.” I didn’t feel like talking about this shit at all.
“Shawna you have to talk to me. Holding it in is not going to make it any better.”
“My dad died today, now will you leave me the fuck alone?!”
“No, I won’t leave you alone, let me help you.”
“I don’t want any fucking help from you! I just need my space, now leave me the fuck alone Tashantae!” That’s the problem with Tae. She would clearly see that I need space and still continuously push me. The most important person in my life just passed away and her ass wont even let me process it. Instead she wants to fucking talk. I knew she was going to say something else, but the doorbell cut her off, thank the Lord. She stormed out of the room and a few seconds later I heard her talking to someone.
“You fucking deal with her moody ass. I’m tired of trying.” I heard before the front door slammed shut and a minute later my bed sunk from someone laying next to me. I stuck my head out the blanket and seen Tremaine.
“Why you crying?” He reached over and began lightly wiping my tears away with his thumb. I pulled back and moved back under the blanket. He got up and I assumed he was leaving, I was wrong. All he did was take off his hoodie and shoes before getting under the blanket with me. He leaned over and pressed his lips to my cheek. “You don’t have to talk. I’ve known you all my life, so I know when you’re going through some heavy shit. You want me to help you feel better?” I nodded and rolled onto my back. This is why I love Trey, he knew me better than anyone, well except my dad.
“He’s gone Trey.” I mumbled as my tears began pouring out heavier. He removed my boy shorts and moved his face in between my legs. This has always been his way of making me feel better, and it always worked, but today it wasn’t. All I could see was images of my dad in my head. Not the sight you want when you’re getting your lady parts ate out. I grabbed Trey’s arms and pulled him up.
“Not working?” I shook my head and he licked over his lips, most likely thinking of what else to do. He looked down into my eyes before pressing his lips to mine. “Can I try something?”
“Is it going to take my mind off of him?” He started unbuckling his pants and I immediately went into panic mode. “No Trey.”
“You talk all this shit about dick and you ain’t never had it. Let me open your world up.”
“It’s going to hurt.”
“Don’t use that lame ass excuse. I know why you’re really scared. You’re afraid that you’re actually going to like this shit and want more.” I bit down on my bottom lip and looked away from him. He’s right, but I’m not going to admit it.
“Think of it as an experiment. Your ass like science and shit, so let’s experiment with this dick.” I let out a loud ass laugh when he said that. It was my first laugh during this horrible ass day, and that laugh made me feel like ten percent better.
“I swear I love you Trey. Like you don’t know what you do for me.”
“Let me do more.” I looked into his eyes and slowly nodded. Here goes nothing.
It’s been a little over a month since my dad passed and I’ve been closed off from everyone. Well everyone but Trey. I have been glued to his ass these past few weeks. No one is able to handle me like he could. Tae had been all in her feelings and I didn’t have time for the shit at all. In a time she should be supporting me for once and this bitch is more concerned with herself. What type of girlfriend is that?
Trey and I had been back in Atlanta working out the arrangements for my dad. He didn’t want any type of burial. He just wanted to be cremated and scattered along the river, and that’s what we were doing today. Just me and Trey, no one else needed to be here. Not that anyone one else really cared anyways. I’m not really sure where Trey and I stood yet, but I am hoping he is still here for me after the shit I planned on telling him today.
“You cool?” He asked, giving my shoulder a small squeeze. I nodded as we came to a stop at the edge of the pier. He handed me the urn with my dad’s ashes and I took a deep breath before carefully emptying it into the water.
“You’re finally free dad.” I mumbled as I watched the water take his ashes away. His whole life he was living it trapped and now his mind, body and soul are free. I know he is truly happy now. I took a seat on the edge of the pier and continued to stare at the water. Trey joined me and wrapped his arm around my waist.
“You never told me what was wrong with him.”
“He had Aids. He left my mom when he found out, but he never told her why because he didn’t want people judging him. Everyone turned their backs on him, and I promised myself I would never do that. I promised I would stick by his side until the end, and I did. Just like he stood by me when everyone judged my choice to be with women. I just wish he would have never given up like that, he was the only thing keeping me together.”
“He’s still with you mentally, and when you need that physical I’m here.” I rolled my eyes at his sexual reference.
“Well I do need you here, because I’m pregnant. Next time you want to experiment use a condom.” I mumbled.
“Nah, it was all in my plan to make you mine.”
“You’re a gotdamn lie Tremaine.” We both started laughing. Thank God I have this man in my life to get me to laugh during moments like this.
“Okay, you’re right, but what you want to do? I know you still with homegirl with the long ghetto name.”
“My name is ghetto too.”
“Shawnice is not ghetto. You changing your shit to Shawna is ghetto.”
“Whatever, and I’m not with her anymore. I broke things off, and I don’t know about you but I want to keep this baby. Even though I’m scared as fuck, never have I imagined myself having kids ever. Especially since I never imagined myself having those type of sexual relations with a man.”
“How we doing this with you living in Cali and me in VA? You going to move in with me?”
“Damn, I didn’t think it would be that easy.”
“Your lame ass was probably building up a speech huh?”
“Don’t judge me girl.” I laughed and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“I need a break from California anyways. That state isn’t for me. I’m a Georgia peach to the bone.”
“But we ain’t moving to Georgia.” I shrugged and laid my head on his shoulder.
“As long as it’s somewhere I can start over. I don’t really care where we go.” And it’s true. I’m ready to just pack up and go wherever.
“We’re going to be good Shawna. I promise.”
You’re such a snobby girl
used to think you were a queen
damn, you sure did rain on my parade, ahhh
same old silly games you play
this is such a waste of time
I’m starting to think that you’re insane
But its always true
I’m always wrong anything I do
and I always go to war with you
and I lose yeah, yeah
I’m a silly dude cause I keep coming back to you
cause its felling like deja-vu
my head’s spinnin around and you got me sayin
“This ain’t about me Aus.” I spoke with confidence as Chris’ latest song 2 Complicated played through the computer. I cut the song off and turned to face him. As far as I’m concerned this shit isn’t about me. Chris may get in his feelings sometimes, but he wouldn’t dare make a song talking this much shit about me. He knows better.
“Scroll down.” Austin instructed. I kept scrolling and stopped when I seen a somewhat description under it. I rolled my eyes and read it out loud.
“Chris Brown stated that the song was based off of a relationship he was in with a woman he was ready to settle down with and get married to, but their relationship was just too complicated.” I grabbed my phone and called Chris up. He answered on the last ring.
“You really feeling some type of way because I didn’t want to get back in a relationship with you?” I said referring to a few weekends ago where I went out with Amber, got pissy drunk and ended up fucking him. He just assumed that we were getting back together after that. Not even.
“The fuck is you talking about?”
“Nothing Chris, nothing at all. Bring me my daughter, and I’m going to Houston for a week. Charlie and Austin coming with me.” I preferred not to tell this nigga my every move, but I legally had to inform him whenever I was taking Charlie out of the state. Truthfully, I’m not even going to Houston, but Chris fun kill ass doesn’t need to know that shit.
“Going back to your man huh?”
“Get the fuck off your dick Chris. This is the exact reason why we are not together now.”
“We’re not together because you’re a hoe.”
“Really? We’re calling names now. You know what, just bring me my daughter. I don’t have time to be arguing with you.” I ended the call and rolled my eyes. Why the hell did I allow myself to even get so involved with Chris in the first place? I sighed and laid my head on the table.
“Kadijah here.” I sat up and glanced out the window. Austin got up and went to open the door. Flocka’s ass ran over and put me in a choke hold.
“Why you looking sad nigga?”
“Babe get off her!” He let me go and I turned around and punched him in his chest.
“I told yo ass to stop playing with me like that.”
“Shut up. Where Charles at?”
“Her punk ass father should be dropping her off soon.”
“What he do this time Sky? You know I’ll knock that nigga soap box off for you. No problem.” Kadijah said while balling up her fist. I smirked and shook my head.
“Dijah, calm down. I don’t need your ole thug life ass right now. We’re about to go to Fiji and have a nice and relaxing vacation. No knocking nigga’s soap box’s off please.”
“You ain’t no type of fun.” The doorbell rung and Flocka ran over to get it. I was calling his ass Flocka when he got like this, hella pumped up for no reason. Shit is ridiculous.
“Flockuh!” I heard Charlie yell out. I smiled and turned to face the door. Juaquin had already corrupted my baby. I couldn’t have her become a full ratchet though. No sir. Chris looked at me and I quickly turned my head. I don’t have time for him.
“Call me when y’all get back Sky.” I nodded and waited until I heard the door shut before looking up.
“Y’all niggas are lame. I was expecting some action.” Austin complained. I looked up and flung my mouse pad at him.
“My lame ass is taking you on a vacation nigga. Now go get your bags. The van should be here in a minute to take us to the airport.” He got up and pushed past me on his way to his room. I smirked and followed behind him, going to get my bags out of my room.
I walked back into my house and looked at the many bags in the living room.
“Fuck are y’all in here doing?” I questioned as I looked at the niggas on my couch.
“I know you and Sky aren’t getting married anymore, but the reservations couldn’t be canceled, so pack a bag nigga. We’re going to Fiji.” Alisha stated, referring to the surprise wedding I was planning for Sky. I went and bought the ring and all I had to do was get her back with me. Though every chance I got with her turned up all wrong. Fuck I look like heading off to an island I was supposed to get married at by myself? That shit will be a major mood kill. It will also be a reminder on how I let the woman I love slip away from me.
“Naw, I’m good. Y’all can go without me.”
“Fuck that, Lish put everything in your name, so don’t ruin everyone’s good time. Look, Sky is not going to be there so you can fuck all the exotic bitches you want.” Mijo said. He had a point.
“Fuck it then. Let me go pack a bag.” This vacation better be fun. I need some fun in my life. I was letting myself slowly spiral down and I’m not feeling who I’m turning into. I definitely didn’t like the person I was becoming towards Sky, but I felt like either she is with me or she isn’t. I hated that I can only seem to have her physically. I missed the emotional connection we shared with each other, and I missed falling asleep with her by my side and in my arms. I miss us. So I came off as a bit harsh, she knows my heart and where I’m coming from. Hopefully this trip would open my eyes to some shit.
Kirk’s drunk ass just about passed out on the couch while his phone was being blown up off the hook. I finally got irritated and snatched his phone up. I let out a sigh of relief whe I seen it was one of his friends. They were probably wondering where his drunk ass is at.
"Who the hell is- Sky?"
"Yeah. Come get ya boy. He’s passed out on my couch."
"What hotel you at?" I told him all the information and hung up, patiently waiting for them to show up. Not even twenty minutes later they came and helped his ass out. I swear I thought this night was going to end so differently. I stripped out of my outfit and pulled on Kirk’s overshirt that he had stripped out of. I pulled my hair into a sloppy bun and made my way into the bedroom. I pulled on a pair of knee high socks and walked into the bathroom where I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Another knock rang off on my door and I rolled my eyes while making my way over to answer it. I had to roll my eyes again at the person at the door.
"What are you doing here Chris?" He looked me up and down while shaking his head.
"You bought that nigga back here to fuck you?" I scrunched up my face and jerked my head back.
"Hol’up. Who the fuck do you think you are questioning me Chris? You ended our relationship two fucking years ago to be with another bitch and now that I finally picked up enough courage to go on a damn two day vacation to get my mind off you; mind you I’m still stuck in our fucking dead end relationship that ended two years ago yet you’ve more than move on. It wasn’t shit for you to fucking leave me behind and take away the only person who still wanted me, my daughter. Now you really show up to the only peace I’ve seem to have in two years and question me on if I let someone fuck me or not? Go to hell Chris." I slammed the door in his face and stormed off to my room.
How can I still be in love with someone so fucking selfish. Just that easy he has managed to fuck up my mood yet again. I climbed onto the bed and grabbed my iPad. I pulled up a video from a couple years back of Charlie in a bubble bath singing songs. I smiled as the tears began rolling down my face. All I want is my baby girl right now.
“Mommy! You back!” Charlie yelled as soon as soon as I walked through the door of Chris’ house.
“Hi baby.” I squatted down and pulled her into a hug. God how I missed her.
“Hi mommy, I tell you a secret about daddy?”
“Oh no no no no no. I leave you alone for one minute and already you offering to spill my darkest secrets. Go upstairs and get ready to go with your Mom.” She giggled and ran off.
"I’ll go wait for her outside." I spoke while turning to head back out the door.
"Sky wait." He spoke while grabbing my arm. I shrugged my arm out of his hold and turned to cut my eyes at him.
"What do you want Chris?"
"I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the other night in Vegas." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.
"It’s always a sorry with you Chris. I’m honostly over it and I’m not even surprised by the disrespectful shit you say to me anymore." He opened his mouth to say something else when Charlie came running down the stairs.
"I’m ready to go Mommy. Can we go see Marion?" I picked her up and shook my head.
"Marion is with his girlfriend baby. We can go hang out with my mom though. You want to go over there?" She smiled and nodded her head.
"Yeah! Then we make ‘sagna." I laughed and kissed her cheek.
"Say goodbye to your Daddy."
"Bye bye Daddy!" She said happily waving at him. I walked out his house without looking at him and put Charlie in the backseat of my car. "Get in your seat and buckle up baby." I got in and made my way to my Mom’s house. I haven’t really spent anytime over there since I moved out, but right now I need people around me to keep me out of my negative thoughts.
"Mommy, um why I can’t be with you all the time?" I glanced back at her and gave her a small smile.
"They made a rule that I have to share you with your Daddy. You like being with your Daddy right?"
"He okay. I don’t wanna live with him, but I love him. I wanna just be like in ‘Lanta."
"You miss Atlanta?" I asked while glancing at her in the rearview mirror.
"Um, no, cause everyone here now. Just like me and you and together." I smiled as she used her hands to make her words come to life. I love my baby girl.
"I get it baby. You just have to show Daddy attention to because his feelings get hurt easily. You’ll be with me all the time soon though because he has to go on tour."
"Okay Mommy." She picked her coloring book off of the seat next to here and started coloring in it with her large crayons that took up space in the cup holder of her booster seat. I turned on some music and continued the drive to my Mom’s house. I need to stop this constant back and forth with Chris because it’s only only confusing my baby girl. She should be the last one dealing with any of this back and forth drama. It was my mistake to start messing around with Chris and it’s going to be my decision not enter back into any type of relationship with him if I’m not one hundred percent positive that it’s going to work out in the best interest of my daughter.
I stared down at the face on my phone and was reluctant to answer the call, but I knew I had to just in case it is an emergency regarding our daughter. I slowly slid my finger across the screen and put the phone up to my ear.
"Uh, hey Sky. Don’t get mad."
"Why would you start a conversation like that Chris? If I was in front of you right now I would hit you." He chuckled on the other end which bought a smile to my face.
"You always trying to fight me."
"Let me know what you were going to tell me?"
"I let my Mom take Charlie for the weekend, but you can get her as soon as she comes back." I frowned and looked over at Dijah who was throwing clothes from my closet into a suitcase while Amber stood next to her choosing heels to go with the outfits. I guess I would be going on this trip with them after all.
"That’s fine. Just call me when she comes back." I spoke while waitng for him to say something back. I don’t even know what exactly I was waiting for since the conversation was obviously over. I guess I was just still hoping for more.
"Sky… don’t be reading the tabloids." I smiled and shook my head. I swear this man will never change.
"Why Chris? What did you do this time?" As soon as I mentioned his name Dijah and Amber turned to look at me. I flipped they nosey asses off and walked out of my room and into the living room. I stretched out on the couch and listened to Chris’ voice.
"Aye, you supposed to have my back." He spoke in an accusing tone causing me to let out a laugh.
"I do have your back ba-" I stopped myself, knowing I was going to say something that I was going to regret. "I always have your back, you know that. That’s why I’m asking you personally what happened."
"It’s not what I did, it’s what they are assuming I did." I frowned and drummed my fingers against my stomach.
"Tell me what happened Chris."
"Well I was at the jewelers with the niggas."
"Ty and Mijo, nobody special." I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Anyways, I was clearly looking at bracelets and shit to get Charlie’s lil ugly ass."
"My baby look better than you."
"Yeah yeah yeah. Well they start reporting shit about me shopping for rings for Robyn and I’m not even with her ass no more. Haven’t been in months."
"Hmm." I let out before I could stop myself.
"Why you make that noise."
"It’s nothing really. I just figured you two would be together forever." I mean she is the bitch you left me for. Must not have been that wise of a decision.
"That’s what I thought too, but it takes going back to the past to realize that’s where it needed to be left."
"That’s why you leave the past where it’s at. It’s a reason things and people are in the past."
"You think that about me also?" I let out a breath of air and closed my eyes.
"You’re not in the past. We’re going to always be present in each other’s lives because we have a daughter together. Now as for us in a relationship, you ended that." I spoke while remembering the events of that morning. He promised me nothing would happen at that studio, and like an idot I trusted him.
"I regret that shit every-"
"I trusted you, and you betrayed me!" I nearly shouted as the events replayed in my head. I swear I relive that day so many times and it’s been close to two years since it happened.
"I’m sorry Sky." I shook my head at his sorry excuse for an apology.
"Yeah, whatever. Just call me when Charlie gets back." I ended the call and sat up. I quickly wiped away the tears from my face and got off the couch.
"Fuck that nigga Sky. We going to Vegas!" Amber yelled while running over and popping her ass in my face. I laughed and pushed her away from me.
"This trip better be fun."
"Nah bitch, you ain’t about to be negative Nancy on my damn trip. We about to go to the Stripathon. I know exactly what my hoes like." I flipped Dijah’s goofy ass off and made my way back to my room to see if I needed to add anything else to the bag they packed for me. I added some more things into my suitcase before rolling it into the living room.
"So when do we leave?"
"We got a bout another hour or so."
When we got to Vegas all of us had seperate rooms. I should have figured as much. They always want to swear we’re having a girls trip, but then their men always end up tagging along and as usual I’m stuck in the same damn predicament. The sight of my suite picked my mood up a little though. I knew Charlie would love it if she was down here with me. I put my suitcase into the closet and after getting out everything I would need for the event tonight and then made my way to the luxurious bathroom. I ran myself a steaming hot bubble bath and turned on pandora on my phone before getting in.
"Finally!" I exclaimed while letting my body soak into the tub. I needed this so much. I stayed in the tub for a good thirty minutes before rinsing off and deciding to get ready for tonight. I dressed in a black skintight cutout jumpsuit and a pair of six inch platform heels. I’m so excited for tonight. I’m just hoping it will get my mind off of the dreadful conversation I had with Chris earlier. Just goes to show how in love with that man I am. I’m still upset over something that occured nearly two years ago.
"Skylar Ann Perkins!" I heard Amber’s loud thick ass accent on the other side of the door. "Open the door bitch!" Kadijah’s hood voice resonated soon after. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone and clutch. I made my way to the door and pushed past them on my way out.
"Let’s go see some ass and titties!" I yelled out and they responded with loud cheers.
I stood up out of my seat to give the stripper on stage a standing ovation. I had been invited up to judge the technique portion of this competition which also just so happened to be my specialty when I was a dancer. The girls have definitely gotten better since my time in the game. This girl on stage is going to have to teach me some of these tricks she up here throwing out. After seeing the routines from the rest of the dancers in the competition we ended up voting on the only one who got a standing ovation from us all. I went to move back to the crowd as the next round of judges began to fill in.
"Hol’up. I know you aren’t about to fade off to the back without gracing the stage with me. Get up here Dream!" I looked up at the stage and smiled when I seen one of my favorite strippers on stage, Remy Red. "Get up here and let’s show em how we made a fortune within our first ninety days." I let out a laugh and made my way up to the stage.
"Wait, let’s get another pole for these two." The DJ called out. I looked over at him like he was crazy before taking the mic out of Remy’s hand.
"D, you know damn well we only need one pole. You done let these new bitches come in and change the game for you. Don’t worry, we’ll give you a refresher." I spoke while handing the mic back to Remy. I walked over to the pole and grabbed it with my left hand, doing a small twirl around it.
"Looks like Dream is on her sultry shit tonight. D you already know what to play." I glanced over my shoulder at Remy and smiled when Kirk’s voice began filling the room in a song he wrote for me back in the day, That Pole. I arched my back a bit and moved my ass to the beat. Remy handed off the mic and her way over to me. I let go of the pole and continued to work my ass while she mounted the pole. I let her get her height on the pole before mounting it also and together we lost ourselves in the beat as we performed perfectly in sync. Even though it’s been a few years since I’ve performed it felt as though I never stopped and judging by the reactions of the crowd they agreed.
"Shoutout to my bitch Dream!" Remy exclaimed into the mic after our routine. I gave her a hug and walked off the stage and straight into Amber who was heading up to the stage.
"These bitched tryna show out like there ain’t other veterans in the building. Where my bitch TipDrill at?" I shook my head but couldn’t help to laugh at Amber’s goofy ass. I should have known she would pull something like this, but it only got me excited to see who else would pop up on the stage. Usually the vets don’t step into the rookie competition like this, but it’s only providing the perfect entertainment. I made my way over to the bar and got me a Long Island Iced Tea. I found a place to stand where I could still see the stage perfectly and sipped on my drink while watching Amber and Tip Drill perform to Waka Flocka’s Round Of Applause.
"You did good baby girl." That familiar voice spoke into my ear. I smiled and turned around to look at Kirk.
"I didn’t know you were here." I snaked my arms around his neck while his went around my waist and quickly slid down to grip my ass. "Don’t you start nothing tonight Kirkland." He smirked and planted a light kiss on my neck. From how touchy feely he is I could tell he has been sipping tonight. Even though I wouldn’t admit it out loud I would most likely be taking him back to my suite tonight. Some sex would definitely take my mind off of Chris, if only temporarily.
- One Year Later-
I was feeling alone, which seems to be an all too familiar feeling lately. I hate this feeling, it was the worst. I hate the fact that I live alone and not with my daughter and Chris. There is only so long I could spend with my family before I had to take my ass back to an empty apartment. I now have joint custody of Charlie so I have her on the weekends. I would pick her up from Tyga and Rae’s to avoid the awkward moments with myself and Chris. Sure I have Omarion to keep me company every now and then, but he isn’t Chris, and I can’t make him Chris. He is like a friend with benefits. I just can’t make things official because that would imply that I am finally moving on from Chris, and I’m not. Sitting awake in my empty apartment I decided to call Kadijah.
“What’s up sis?” She answered, sounding irritated as hell.
“Dijah I need to go somewhere to clear my mind.”
“You thinking about him again?”
“I’m always thinking about him, and I hate myself for it.”
“You can’t hate yourself Sky.”
“But I do. How can I constantly think about a man who doesn’t want me. There’s never been a doubt in my mind about my love for him. I’ve always loved him, always will, and nothing will change that.”
“Get dressed, I’m coming to get you.” She hung up before I could respond and I let out a frustrated sigh before getting up and getting dressed. Dijah showed up twenty minutes later and took me to her house. The whole entire crew was over there, and smoking, as usual.
“Sis!” Juaquin yelled as he jumped off the couch. I rolled my eyes as he jogged over and threw himself on me. “Come join the circle.” Normally I wouldn’t, but I am in the mood to set my mind free. I shouldn’t be thinking about a man I haven’t seen in almost a year.
“Why not.” I followed him back over to the couch and sat on Cartier’s lap.
“What’s good nigga?” I greeted her playfully.
“Shit, with these dumb asses and your sister’s mean ass.”
“I am not mean. I’m just irritated.”
“At who?” Juaquin yelled, jumping off the couch. This nigga must be drunk.
“At you! Don’t fucking try me right now nigga.” Their relationship is too much for me, but they feed off of this drama.
I grabbed the blunt from OJ and took a long pull from it. My nerves are all fucked up and this nigga wants to try me. He knows why I’m acting this way, yet he always finds a way to show his ass. On this day exactly five years ago my mom passed away. I’ve never gotten over that shit, and when ever this day arrived I’m always in the worst mood. I passed the blunt to Frenchie and looked over at Juaquin. He was now silent as fuck and staring at me with a sympathetic look. Yeah, now his ass wants to remember.
“Come here Dee.”
“I’m good over here.” I leaned back on the couch and laid my head on OJ’s shoulder. I am two seconds from going up stairs and climbing back in my bed, but I know this is the day I need people around me no matter how irritated I am.OJ put his arm around me and I gave him a smile.
OJ is like my real life brother. He is just as ratchet as everyone else, but I get along best with him. He always had my back plus I’ve known him the longest. We grew up together, and he is actually the one who introduced me to Juaquin. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up just in time to see Juaquin walking over to me.
“Get up.” I just continued to stare at him, not moving an inch. He roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me up.
“You always think someone playing with your ass.” I rolled my eyes and let him drag me to our room. He flung me on the bed and I just stared up at him. “What you want me to do to make you feel better?”
“Get me pregnant.” I was just as shocked as him that I let that just come out of my mouth, but I’m serious. I want a baby. I’m getting older and I feel like it’s about that time.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, I want a baby. Don’t you?”
“Yeah, but are you ready? You’re a little on the wild side Dee.”
“I’m wild? Nigga have you seen yourself?” I exclaimed while motioning to him.
“Nigga I would be the best parent in the world, fuck you mean?”
“You know what I’m not so sure I want a baby right now anymore. Our household is too damn ratchet.” I side eyed him for emphasis and he flashed me a bright smile in return.
“That’s all you nigga. You’re ratchet as fuck!”
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me nigga.”
“Shut up nigga. You want this dick or not?” I smirked and crashed my lips into his.
I woke up a couple hours later and went to wash my ass. I knew it would take a while before I found out if I was pregnant or not and it will probably take more than a couple of attempts but I am hoping for the best. I got out of the shower and got dressed, deciding I would go out with my sister. I had completely forgotten she was even here. I walked into the living room to see her and OJ knocked out on the couch. I walked over and lightly shook her. She opened her eyes and they were tinted red. I knew they weren’t this red from the weed either.
“What’s wrong?” She frowned and her eyes immediately filled up with tears.
“He’s going to marry her.”
“Who is marrying who?”
“Chris! He’s going to marry her Dijah. I thought somehow that I would get him back, but it’s obvious his heart belongs to her.”
“Sky you haven’t seen or talked to this man in how long? Believe me, if you go pour your heart out to this man then he will be with you.”
“No he won’t. It’s all a game to him. When I’m around him it’s like it’s all about us. That’s why I can’t be around him. He knows exactly how to play on my emotions then he’ll just up and leave me for another one of his exes since all them bitches are always the fuck around!”
“Finally! Finally your ass shows some fucking emotion! This nigga is the love of your life, and he left you for another bitch. You’re not okay with this shit, so stop acting like you are! They are about to get married, show your fucking emotions Sky!” I wiped my eyes as I watched her breakdown. It kills me to see my sister walking around like she is happy for every fucking body. No one is that fucking okay with shit. All she is doing was hurting herself.
“He let her come in and ruin every fucking thing! I fucking hate him for putting me through so much shit to just leave me! I should have never let my guard down. I should have turned him away the day he showed up saying he was Charlie’s father. I let him in and he took every thing from me Kadijah. He took my daughter from me. He-he took everything.” I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry into my chest.
“Who I need to kill sis?” I looked up and seen Juaquin walking over to us. He pulled Sky out of my arms and wrapped her up in a bear hug.
“I try to be happy for him because I love him, but what about me? What happens to me and my happiness?” She cried into his shoulder. I grabbed her phone off the coffee table and quietly walked out the room. I pulled up a number and quickly dialed it. I am going to do something to make sure my sister cheers up and I know exactly what will get her back in her zone.
“My nigga do you see this shit?” I handed my phone to Tyga and as soon as he read over it he fell out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Austin asked as he walked into the room.
“The fact that people really think I’m out ring shopping for Robyn.”
“Oh.” He replied before walking off. I shook my head and took my phone away from Tyga.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He been holding on to some petty grudge since Sky left. I’m used to the shit now. Everyone acts different when Sky’s not here.”
“Including yo ass.”
“What you mean?”
“Your ass is rude as shit. You’re always at the club, and always fucking on random girls. Charlie does whatever the hell she wants. None of this shit would be happening if Sky was here and you know it.” Hopefully this ring I got earlier would help me get her back. I still have to work on getting us back on speaking terms, but I plan on proposing to her very soon. I know if I am going to ask for her to come back to me then I’m going to need to come correct.
"Whatever. I need something to get into tonight since moms is taking Charlie. What y’all getting into tonight?" I still need to call Sky and see if she could swap her days with Charlie since my mom is taking her to Virginia for the weekend. We’ll see how that goes. I told my mom to just call and ask her, but she said she’s going to leave that for me.
"Nigga it’s the ultimate three day Stripathon in Vegas. They got all the greatest strippers comming out through that thing. We’re on the jet tonight out to that thing. You rolling or what?" All it took was the thought of some strippers to get his ass all giddy. I laughed and shook my head at him.
"Yeah, I’ll go watch these hoes come out of retirement. This sounds entertaining. Your ass probably going to know everyone up in that bitch."
"Hell nah! Tyga and Nino going. They’re the stripper experts. Watch and see them in action."
"Rae is letting Tyga go?"
"Rae ass is going to. She’s one of the judges of the twerk contest. Like I said, all of the greats are coming out." I nodded. A small part of me is getting excited about this. Mainly because this will be the first time in over a year that everyone comes out to turn up as a group again. The only person that we’re missing is Sky.
“Who the fuck is this?” I held up my phone so Ty could see the bitch who was bold enough to text my phone with some bullshit. I’m nine months pregnant, I don’t have time for this shit at all. He grabbed my phone and looked down at it.
“I’ll handle this.”
“Nigga I didn’t ask you to handle shit. I asked you who the fuck the bitch is.” I reached for my phone and he pushed my hand away.
“Chill, you pregnant.”
“Fuck you. I knew you were cheating on me.” I got off the couch and waddled my ass back to our room. I got onto the bed and pulled the covers over me. I grabbed the house phone off the night stand and dialed my mom’s number.
“I miss you mommy.”
“Aw baby, I’ll be out there soon. My grand babies will be due any minute now.” I smiled and pushed my head further into the pillow.
“Ty is cheating on me.” I blurted out.
“What? What makes you think that?”
“Mom I’m nine months pregnant with twins. I haven’t been able to have sex in a while. All Ty wants to do is have sex, so I know that’s exactly what he’s doing.”
“Is that the only reason you believe this?”
“Some girl texted my phone a little early telling me that she was sleeping with him. He’s been gone a lot lately and we’re supposed to be starting a family. What am I supposed to do mom?”
“If you love that man, you stay. It’s too late to leave now, you have these babies to think of.” I should have known she would say some shit like this. My mom stayed with my dad until he finally left her ass. It didn’t do shit for me, in all honesty I hated that she allowed him to get away with so much shit. If Ty didn’t get his priorities in order then I was leaving. I wasn’t putting my kids through any back and forth shit.
“I gotta call you back mommy. I love you.”
“I love you too. I’ll see you soon.” I hung up and put the phone back on the base. I rubbed my stomach, attempting to settle down all the commotion that was happening inside it, but that seemed to only make it worst. Reluctantly I called out for the last person I wanted to be around at the moment.
“Ty!” He walked into the room a minute later and a looked at me. “My stomach.” He climbed into the bed behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and began massaging my stomach. I truly did love him and the last thing I wanted to do was leave him, but I didn’t want to be mistreated. I had enough of that in my last relationship.
“Is it feeling better?”
“Yeah. Thank you baby.” He kissed my neck just as a pain struck through my stomach. “Shit. I think I need to-” I stopped mid sentence once I felt liquid streaming down my legs. “No, I know I need to go to the hospital, now.”
“Fuck. I got your bag.” Ty jumped off the bed and ran to the closet.
“Baby I need you to change me and carry me to the car.” I grabbed the house phone and dialed Shawna’s number. I put it on speaker and tossed it on the bed as I began sliding out my soiled sweats.
“Shawna my water broke!” I lifted my arms and Ty pulled off his shirt that I was wearing and pulled my dress over my head. I stood up and he pulled the dress down.
“Okay. I’m going to get Sky and we’ll be on our way.” She hung up and Ty grabbed the phone.
“You want me to call your doctor?”
“Shawna has it covered. Can you go make sure both car seats are in the car along with my bag and the baby bags. He nodded and ran back to the closet, coming out with the car seats and the bags.
“I’ll be right back baby.” I nodded and laid back on the bed. My back was in too much pain at the moment.
“Time for you two bad asses to come out.” I mumbled as I placed my hands on my belly. The pains were getting more intense and I knew they were beyond ready to come out. Ty came back in the room and swooped me off the bed with ease.
“You getting heavy babe.”
“The way you picking me up shows you’ve had some experience with a bigger girl. I’m not gonna comment on it though.”
“You gone talk shit while you in labor though?”
“It’s only right.” He smiled and pecked my lips before sitting me inside the car. “Now I’m going to need your ass to get there with the quickness, because I need that epidural asap.” I said as soon as he got in the car. I may have been calm on the outside, but I was dying from multiple gunshot wounds on the inside.
“I got you.” This nigga turned into a fucking street racer and I damn near popped one of my babies out in this car. “You cool baby?”
“Yes, just get me inside please.” He came around and picked me up, walking me into the private hospital. Sky was waiting at the door with a wheelchair. “Aw, I love you Sky.”
“Shut your emotional ass up.” I laughed and grabbed Ty’s hand. He was legit not leaving my side at all.
“Is my spinal tap ready?”
“Yes ma’am. Just need to get your ass into the room.”
“You are one of the worst nurses ever.”
“Girl all I am hear to do is witness my God babies birth. That is all.”
“You call Chris?” Ty asked her.
“Yeah, he in there already.” Damn, I guess we were the late ones. I got to my room, got my epidural and was chilling. Everyone was in the waiting area that was connected to my room while they waited for me to get fully dilated, so it was just me and Ty in here. I felt it was the perfect time to question him about earlier.
“Are you cheating on me Ty?”
“You can tell me the truth. I’ll give you a clean slate from this day forward, you just have to stay true to me and this family.” He ran his hand over his face and I sighed. That was his answer right there.
“Baby you’re all I want. I panicked a little. I thought this pregnancy shit was going to be easier than this. I’m not blaming you at all for my actions, shit was just overwhelming. I cut shit off, from here on out it’s just us and our kids. I love you Rae.” I pulled him towards me and lightly pressed my lips to his.
“I love you too Micheal.”
“If you using my full name then I should be able to call you Raelinda.”
“Baby nooooooo! I’m going back to Ty.” He laughed and kissed my lips again. I groaned as I felt the pressure increasing on my pelvis. “Sky, come check my vagina!” I yelled out. I should of had a professional nurse, but Sky has been around Shawna and I long enough to know what she’s doing. If not, then she would not be assisting in delivering anymore of my babies. She walked in wearing her scrubs and I damn near fell out. This look was not for her.
“Shut up.” She pulled up my gown and quickly shot her head back up. “SHAWNA!”
“Oh, nothing. Just your child’s head trying to push it’s way out.”
“Don’t call Shawna then, get a doctor.” Ty didn’t know Shawna was the doctor, but he would find out soon. She walked in and smiled brightly.
“Time to deliver my niece and nephew.”
“Hell naw. We could have stayed at home for this shit.”
“Mikey shut up. I’m a professional. I’ve done this plenty of times before.” She went to sanitize her hands and came back over to us.
“Chris, come in here!” Sky called out. His ass was supposed to be recording this. I grabbed Ty’s hand and laced our fingers together.
“Moms is almost here.” Chris said as he walked in.
“Everyone’s.” I smiled and looked at Shawna.
“We’re going to do three pushes, ten seconds apart, and that should get this first one out. You ready?” I nodded and tightened my hold on Ty’s hand. I was more than ready. Just as Shawna predicted, three pushes did it.
“You have a beautiful baby boy, born at 7:35pm.” Sky announced while Chris cut the umbilical cord then she walked over to clean him off and wrap him up. I didn’t have time to watch her because my other little one was fighting to get out. I closed my eyes and on Shawna’s count I pushed. It took six long ass pushes to get her out, and again Chris cut the cord. Sky handed my son to Ty and went to grab my daughter from Shawna. “And here we have a beautiful baby girl, born at 7:38pm on May 2nd.” I rolled my eyes at how official she was trying to sound.
“Now to push out this placenta.” I groaned and closed my eyes. I swear this shit was going on forever.
“Wait, don’t push yet. Mommy’s here.” I heard my mom’s voice ring out, but I was too concentrated on pushing to respond to her.
“Mom you’re too late. The babies are here already.” Ty answered her.
“Aw, damn. Sky is that my granddaughter? Bring her here.” I pushed out hopefully what was the last inside me and collapsed onto the bed. I immediately felt my face being wiped off and when I opened my eyes it was Ty, hovering over me with a smile on his face.
“Don’t look at me Ty.” He laughed and kissed my lips.
“We have to name them.”
“Baby I gave you a list of names. Don’t tell me you lost it.” He dug in his pocket and pulled out the list.
“Wait, you carry that around?” Chris asked with a goofy look on his face. I thought it was cute though, it showed how much he cared.
“Nigga and? These my babies. We naming lil man after me, and my baby girl we naming Ki’anna.” I smiled when he said that. That was my favorite name on the list. “Oh, and hyphenated last names for moms.” I laughed and reached out for my daughter. My mom let out a dramatic ass sigh before handing her over. I smiled and looked up at Ty. This had to be the highlight of our lives. As soon as our eyes connected a million and one camera flashes went off. They were so cliche.
“I’m ready to go home.” I mouthed out to him. He laughed and kissed our son’s forehead.
“We will soon baby.” This day had turned around with the quickness and I knew our babies would be the glue to keep our family together.
Having my kids here was the best feeling in the world. Now I understood the joy Trell, Mijo and Chris had with their kids, but my excitement is twice that because I have twins. I wanted to go around and personally cuss everyone out who said I was too immature to have any children, but when you have kids nothing else matters, including all the doubts everyone had in me. I admit at a point I believed what everyone was saying and that’s when I cheated on Rae, never again. This is where my heart was at, this was my family, and I wasn’t fucking this up for nothing.
“Don’t think too hard over there.” I looked over at Rae and smiled. I honestly loved this girl. I’ve never been in a relationship this perfect, and the shit frightened me. Especially since she’s been pregnant our entire relationship. I didn’t want shit to change now that she wasn’t pregnant anymore.
“Let’s switch.” She smiled and shook her head as we switched babies. I looked down at my daughter and smiled. “See Key look just like me.” I held her up and put her face to mines.
“That’s your clone right there nigga.” Trell said as he walked in the room with Heather.
“That’s what I’m saying. Daddy’s princess right here.”
“You are too much.” Rae said before letting out a huge yawn.
“Wait before you go to sleep, we need about a thousand more pictures.” My mama said as everyone pulled out there cameras. I wasn’t complaining. The more pictures of my family the better. I pulled out my phone and took a picture of us, posting it to my instagram with the caption:
My family, best day of my life.
"It’s okay baby, stop crying." I whispered in her ear as I rubbed her back.
"Mommy I not wanna be here. I serious." I frowned and kissed her forehead.
"I know baby. Let me go talk to daddy about you coming to spend some time at my place. Go in the bathroom and wash off your face." We got off her bed and I watched her walk to her bathroom before I made my way out here room, nearly bumping into Chris. "Come on, we need to talk." I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the closest guestroom. He sat on the bed and looked up at me.
"How long has she been acting like this?"
"Since you left. She ignores everything I tell her to do, she go around slamming doors, and she complains about everything."
"Maybe she needs to come spend some time with me."
"How is that supposed to help her respect me?"
"Because Chris, I don’t play that shit with Charlie. She would never even think about talking to me the way she was talking to you. She is obviously mad that I’m not with her and taking it out on you. Just let me get her a couple days out of the week. All of this popping up to see my daughter is not cool." He let out a breath and stared blankly at me.
"We can do that. You can take her Friday through Sunday since she doesn’t have school on those days." I nodded and just stared at him. The smart thing would have been to just walk out. This conversation was done, but it had been awhile since I’ve been with him alone.
"You okay Chris?"
"I’m good. Why?"
"You just seem tense and overly stressed." He stood up and walked over to me. Stopping a few inches in front of me. My heart rate accelerated as soon as our eyes connected. In this moment I felt like he still loved me, as crazy as that sounded, but the look in his eyes showed love. I slowly reached my hand up and ran it through his hair that I was just now noticing.
"I like it blonde." He wrapped his arms roughly around my waist and smashed his lips into mine. I knew it was wrong, but I love him and I knew I would never be able to turn him away. I put my free hand on the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. His hands slid down to my ass and gripped it hard.
"Mommy, I not find you!" I heard Charlie yell out through the hallway. I slowly pulled away from Chris and walked out the room. I was far too embarrassed to even make eye contact with him. What I did was not right, but I didn’t feel bad about it. In fact, I wanted to do it again. I wanted more. I want him. Chris is my addiction. He’s the man I’m in love with.
"Here I am. Let’s go pack you a bag and go enjoy the rest of your party."
"Mommy I have bag packed."
"Okay, then let’s head back outside. I’m hungry, and you need to behave and stop being rude to daddy, because next time you decide to talk to him any type of way then you will be getting a spanking."
"I not mean too."
"Oh I know, and you will apologize to him and thank him for throwing you this party." Regardless of how I felt about Chris, I wasn’t going to let Charlie think it was okay for her to talk to him like that. What was even worst is that she most likely picked that habit up from me or Kadijah, Rae or Shawna.
"You mad?" I looked down at her and smiled.
"Don’t play me Charlie."
"I serious Mommy!" I laughed and picked her up. I swear she is a clone of Chris. She always turned a serious situation into a joke.
"I love you." She puckered up her lips and I pecked them.
"I love you too." I jogged down the stairs and put her back on the ground.
"Let’s go party baby!" She giggled and ran outside. I smirked and ran after her.
"Fuck!" Sky is the one. I need her, but I left her for some old pussy. I was trying with Robyn, but that’s all I could do. She is the same exact person I stopped dealing with years ago, and that’s what bothered me. I thought I wanted us back, but I never realized how much I had changed until I got back with her. Standing in the middle of my guest room all I could think about is Sky, and how good it felt to have her back in my arms, how good it felt to have her lips back on my own, if only for that moment. I walked out the room and back outside. I felt arms wrap around my legs and when I looked down it was Charlie. I smiled and picked her up.
"What’s up girl?"
"Daddy I sorry and I love you." I smiled and kissed her forehead.
"I love you too baby girl. You wanna cut the cake now?"
"Yes!" I laughed and motioned Sky over to us. "Mommy we bring out cake!"
"Occupy your child while I go get the cake."
"You mad Daddy?" I mushed her face and she started laughing. I swear I haven’t seen her this happy since Sky left, and I could say the same for myself. Robyn is always so serious relationship wise. I planted a wet kiss on Charlie’s cheek before handing her over to Sky.
"Mijo come help me with this cake nigga!"
"Boy don’t make me paint a portrait, rearrange your life." I stopped and turned around to face her. This nigga Mijo was already on his back. I found that shit sexy. Sky knew what she was doing when she decided to recite my lyrics. The fact that she is actually a real fan of whatever I did was a turn on. Robyn on the other hand hated when I rapped, but oh well, hearing people recite my shit made it all worth it.
"Charlie you better get yo mama before I punish her." Sky whispered something in Charlie’s ear and they both started laughing.
"Mommy said you got big head, yo snap hat at two snaps." Mijo yelled out with his annoying ass laughing so I turned around and kicked him then turned back to Sky. She put Charlie down and took off running.
"Don’t run now!" I took off after her, catching up to her in no time. I wrapped my arms around her waist and dove into the pool with her. I’m not gone front, I copped a few feels under the water before pulling her back up.
"I can’t stand you!" She punched me in my chest and I started laughing. "My hair is going to get frizzy now." I splashed some water at her just to shut her ass up. She screeched and attempted to push my head back under the water.
"Hey, there are children around. All that pool activity needs to turn a couple levels down." I heard Rae call out
"How mad are you at the moment baby anger management?"
"Chris, let me talk to you for a second." I looked from Sky to Robyn before getting out of the pool and following her into the house.
"I have to head to the studio. I’ll see you tomorrow." I nodded and went to give her a hug, but she backed up.
"You are not touching me. You just got out the pool." I shrugged and moved out the way so she could leave. Have it not been the middle of Charlie’s party I would have questioned her about all these emergency studio sessions she was always running off to, but at the moment I wasn’t tripping off what she was doing. I was more concerned with having fun with my family. I called Mijo back in and he helped me carry the cake outside. Charlie started jumping up and down as soon as she seen the cake. We sat it down on the table and I picked her up.
"Daddy you wet!" I smiled and wrapped my arms tighter around her, laughing as she squirmed around.
"I do this for you baby girl!"
"Daddy! Cake!" I laughed and stopped fucking with her. Everyone gathered around and we sang happy birthday. A couple hours later when the party was dying down I looked around and noticed O had dipped out. This is my chance to make shit right. I walked over and sat next to Sky.
"Spend the night." I could tell it caught her off guard and the look she gave me was unreadable.
"I don’t think that’s a good idea, with the circumstances and all. I think it’s best I just go home." I should have known it wouldn’t have been this easy. It’s apparent that she still loves me, but I knew I was going to have to put in some work to get my baby back.
"I love you Sky."
"But you love her more. I can’t stay around and wait for you to figure out who you want to be with at the moment. My feelings for you have never changed, no matter what nigga was around. When I found out you were leaving me for her the first person to call me was Kirk. Not once did it ever cross my mind to run back to him. I’m moving forward, not backwards." I nodded and stared off at Charlie, who was making her way over to us. "You ready boo?"
"Yes. I go with Mommy Daddy, but I come back."
"You better. You know you can’t leave me alone."
"You not lone, you have girlfriend." Sky laughed and stood up.
"Charlie give daddy a hug goodbye." Charlie jumped into my arms and I stood up, still holding her and walked them out to Sky’s car. I strapped Charlie into her seat and kissed her cheek. I walked around to Sky and gave her a hug.
"I fucked up, I made a huge mistake, and if I could take it back then I will. You’re the one, you always have been." I planted a soft kiss on her lips and walked off. Hopefully that will be on her mind for the rest of the night. I had to get her back, I had too.
I watched Charlie sleeping peacefully next to me as the tears slowly rolled down my face. Why the hell does Chris do this to me? He knows how much I love him and he sits here and just preys on my feelings because he knows that he can. He knows I won’t turn him away and he takes advantage off that. I hate him for that specific reason. I don’t get it all. Like you left me and now you think it’s a mistake? After you watched me pack my things and walk out with a care in the world. I grabbed my phone and just as I got ready to dial his number a call began to come in. I smiled and quickly answered it.
"You still awake baby?" Omarion’s voice came in smoothly on the other side.
"Sadly. I can’t sleep. I have Charlie over here with me, but I don’t know. I’m just up."
"You want me to stop by and help put you to sleep?" I smiled and bit my bottom lip while wiping the tears from my face before they dried.
"Not tonight. I don’t want Charlie waking up scared because I’m no longer in the bed with her. I will however need your assistance when my little girl has to go back to her Daddy."
"Oh, fasho I got you. But for right now let me know what I can do over the phone to put you to sleep?" He’s so sweet. Every single guy I come across are completely perfect to me, but I am forever stuck on Mr. Flaws and All, Chris.
"Can you sing to me? I honestly don’t care what song, you can make it up off the top of your head. I just want to hear your voice."
"Sure. let me see." I closed my eyes and listened as his angelic voice soothed me to sleep. I may not ever fall in love with this man since my heart is stuck with Chris, but I love him. O has been nothing but the perfect gentleman to me since I’ve met him. He’s always considerate of my feelings and he makes sure I’m always in the best mood. I just hate that I can’t be that dream woman for him.